Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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