i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
