mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
