Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize