I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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