Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
