I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
