I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize