Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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