I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize