Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
