just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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