Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
