You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
