I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
