I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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