tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
