I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
