eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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