she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize