...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
