you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
