Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
