i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
