the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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