I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
