so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Welp...herpes.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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