i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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