I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
