And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
