Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
