I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
