I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
