not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
