I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize