it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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