I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I need a beard to bite.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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