My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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