Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just pee around me
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
