i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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