I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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