i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
