I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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