I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
