i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
