her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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