rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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