He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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