This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
