i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
