Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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