the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize