fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
