i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
