Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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