We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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