He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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