I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
