She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
