If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
