Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize