so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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