***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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