I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
