I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
