Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
