At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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