That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
