She's JV to your varsity
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
