When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize